@ Scottish coach before the match gives the last advice to his players:
- And remember the most important! Always keep your eyes on the ball - it costs 20 pounds!
@ Coach says to his players after the match:
- I have to bag you pardon.. Do you remember, I said last time, that it is impossible to play worser than you did in that match? I'm sorry, I was mistaken in you...
@ Little girl comes to home and enters the room where her father is watching soccer on TV.
- Where have you been? - asks father, keeping his eyes on the screen.
- I've played the dolls with Mary.
- Really? - says father. - And what is the score?
@ Famous football player is giving lunch to his friends and reporters at his village house. After mealsconversation starts, and player complains to his guests:
- Almost everybody think that we, sportsmen, reach success only by using different drugs and steroids. But it's not true, it is horrible lies and calumny! I swear!
At that moment mother of the player enters the room, holding in her hands tomato, which has the size of good pumpkin, and severely says:
- Son! How many times I asked you - do not piss in the kitchen garden!
@ Football Federation of Argentine offereed to Sven Goran Ericsson 5 million dollars for the month of work with the national team of Brazil.
@ Football player Adrian Mutu was revealed to use prohibited drags after his declaration that he wants to be forward no more but wants to be the Emperor of Rome.
@ The dog of Abramovich bought some club from lower division.
@ - Damien Duff - 17 millions of pounds.
- Claude Makelele - 16 millions.
- Juan Sebastian Veron - 15 millions.
- Hernan Crespo - 16.8 millions.
- Pierlouigi Collina - is not for sale.
There are some things you can't buy for money, for everything else Roman Abramovich exists.
@ Dantist asks his client, who is sitting in the chair:
- At once when I start cure your tooth, please, scream louder...
- For what?!
- I have big number of clients behind the door, waiting for me, but very interesting match begins the next hour!